Oops… it’s my birthday again

birthday

22

My toes dangled in the impossibly blue water of the pool that overlooked the old town of Cassis, nestled between infinite mountains and hugged by the sea. I felt small… lost in God’s imagination. 

For the first time in my life, I spent my birthday in the company of strangers. Peacefully gazing at the landscape while a cool breeze lifted my hair, I could suddenly feel my age. 

I’ve always been young. That’s a funny idea isn’t it? What I mean is not only have I always FELT young, as I’m sure many of us throughout our lives do, but I’ve always been the youngest in my class, my group of friends, my family. The further I go and the more I accomplish, the tighter I’ve gripped onto my title of the ‘young one’. The age gap between my classmates and I has only increased since graduating early from college. Nowadays, I feel like I’m growing into my age. Maybe I’m getting close to the point where I don’t think I can truly claim my ‘youngness’ anymore. At 21, you’re still a child. There seems to be less wiggle room with 22 year olds no? I can’t deny being an adult anymore. I guess it may be time to grow up. 

Humans are alright

Humans continue to surprise me. Living in a big city, I was fully prepared to endure snarky comments and piercing glares on a daily basis. While there is a fair share of that in Paris (I’m now the proud/not-so-proud owner of a heinous glare myself), I am continually surprised by the kindness of strangers; the simple things, the niceties. How often have I seen random people helping a mother trudge up stairs with a stroller? How many times has an anonymous hand reached out for me so I wouldn’t be thrown by the violent veers of the metro? How many times have blank faces dug through their pockets to provide a light for a stranger?

On August 17th, I once again was surprised by the kindness of humans. A group of kids, all from different parts of the world, happened to be in a remote town in southern France, at the same hostel, on the same day. Some would say fate, some would say coincidence. A group of strangers quickly transformed into friends as they shared wine, stories, and a dance. In a new place with new people, I didn’t feel alone at all.

My birthday

I closed my eyes and breathed in the sea, pungent and nostalgic all at once. The smell of the ocean brings me back to myself. On my birthday, I sat looking at the light dancing on the water as I reflected on the past year while dreaming of the new one. Is there any better way to usher in another year? Who was I at 21? Whom did I meet? What did I accomplish? Which lessons did 21 teach me? What will I take with me to 22? 23? 24?

When do we stop growing up? I hope I grow up to be kind; understanding, adventurous, charismatic, funny, supportive. I hope I’d be a stranger I like.

Here’s to another year. Happy birthday to me 🙂