I’m finally done.
This week I walked out of my school, giddy and elated. I had just completed my last exam and was officially done with my classes for my Master’s program. Now, don’t congratulate me just yet, I still have to complete another internship and write a thesis, but I am done with classes forever.
For almost 20 years, school has been my structure, my social life, my stress and my victory.
It’s difficult to even imagine a life where I don’t go to school, a real adult life some would say. I fear that once again, change is placing me at an impasse where I find myself lost; a freshman adult.
School Life
How do you meet people outside of a classroom? What will my fragile ego do without the constant boosts from a good grade or approval of a professor? How do you maintain friendships outside of group projects? Where will I get my weekly dose of rage without having to deal with school administration?
Class discussions, field trips, arguments with teachers, group projects, hallway rendezvous, homework; this has been my reality for so long. You share your childhood, your existence, your reality, with the people around you. School has allowed me to bond with my classmates. It creates an us and them in terms of teachers and students that fosters a connection, an understanding that is wonderfully mischievous to be a part of. There is something about working on an assignment at 2am and seeing your other group members typing away at the same document that provides a sense of camaraderie, loyalty, and affinity that I believe is hard to find elsewhere. To be in school is to partake in a shared experience… What happens after that ends? To me, it seems that your life becomes a singular experience after that.
What’s next?
It’s a bit bizarre being on the brink of a new era, a new stage, with the presence of mind to know that that’s where you are. I stand on the precipice of a new reality. My future is slowly starting to take shape. A figure, barely visible through the haze, makes its way towards me. In January, I start the internship of my dreams. I’ve started to browse through new apartments in Paris. I’ve started to meet some really cool people. Life is starting to feel more permanent now. I’m on the verge of definition; the verge of a job, my own apartment, my own life.
Truthfully, I am incredibly grateful for my education. I’ve met many of the most important people in my life through it and have had the lovely experience of trauma-bonding with them as well. I’ve been blessed to go to great schools with incredible professors. These experiences have helped to mold me into who I am today; strong, independent, intelligent, confident, and a bit sassy. I will always be grateful for my education and the blessing that it has been, but for today, I’m just grateful it’s over.
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