A terrible haircut… that’s how I started the new year.
I sat wide eyed in the chair, my eyelashes dark and damp, struggling to lasso my tears as the hairdresser cut inch after painful inch off.
“Well, there goes my year”, I thought to myself. Promised to be one of the most defining years of my life to date and I completely botched it at day 4.
Confidence shot, I dejectedly looked ahead at the year. I didn’t know if I could, or wanted to accomplish the things I had set out to do… the devastating result of a temporary loss of mojo. Such a small thing as a haircut all but derailed me. I felt like Samson, stripped of more power with each cut strand of hair. Despite my distress, I rallied and determined that this would not define my year.
Resolutions
Last year was the first year that I truly wrote New Year’s resolutions. Realistic ones. Sensible ones. Exciting ones. Throughout the year though, your goals fade into white noise, the background of work, school and stress. It’s so easy to forget isn’t it? Days turn into weeks turn into months turn into years and we forget to take note of our accomplishments, forget to invest in ourselves. Last year I got an internship. I went to 3 new countries. I practiced confrontation.
My resolutions stare at me daily from the screen of my phone. Pictures, carefully selected and mixed with affirmations seem to become sharper through blurry tears and stress, exactly at the moment I need them to. Through hardships and drama my goals, my persistence and my passion carried me through the last year and it’s truly gratifying to not forget. To instead remember all that I saw, all that I learned and all that I accomplished.
Today I sit here writing and I look around the table. My girlfriends all intensely put together their new year’s resolutions; insecurities, goals, challenges, and aspirations all manifesting themselves in a single slide, peppered with aesthetic pinterest pictures… a window into themselves.
The infinitely relentless questions; What do I want this year? How do I get to where I want to go? What do I want to see? Who do I want to become?
2023
New Year’s Day often feels like a frantic race to discover the ‘new you’. Subscriptions are made, gyms get packed, learning apps get downloaded. While making resolutions are a great way to provide structure and set goals, sometimes it’s also about looking back, not just ahead.
While talking about the new year a friend recently told me, “These are not magic days, they are just opportunities to profoundly reflect on the things we’re grateful for.”
I’m grateful for health and happiness. I’m grateful for all of the incredible people in my life, old and new. I am grateful for opportunities and for spontaneity and my life in Paris. I’m even grateful for my slightly shorter hair.
Despite a choppy beginning (yes, pun intended), I have high hopes for this year… My haircut is growing on me.
Happy New Year everyone.
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